A Rose Colored View

When I first moved here, I would go out with my cousin. I met all of her friends and many of the locals here. When I told them that I moved here they would give me a strange look and ask why. They couldn't believe that I would leave California for Dubrovnik. As if Dubrovnik is the biggest shit hole in the world. They really thought I was absolutely crazy for moving over here. The other day someone had told me that they wanted to move to the states to which I gave them a very strange look and asked why? And I realized that I now sounded like I was saying that the US is the biggest shit hole in the world and why would anyone want to ever move there. Obviously, that's not true, but it did get me thinking about why we as a people do that. Why do we always think that the grass is greener on the other side. The best analogy that I could come up with is that it's a lot like dating (it seems to be a theme in my life). Dating has several stages and I think that it's a perfect way to see how some of us think that other places are better than home. In my mind dating goes like this: Lust at first sight, first date, honeymoon, reality, bail or stay.

Lust: In dating, it's the I will do anything to have that person stage...Let's move this to my experience with living here. I started coming to Croatia every summer when I was in High school. I would stay in Dubrovnik for the summer and I would LOVE life. I would sit by the sea all day and go out at night. I thought, this place is amazing!! I would give anything just to wake up to this every day. I love it here! This place is the best! All of the people of Dubrovnik are sooooo lucky!

First Date: It's the getting to know you stage, we are always on our best behavior. Every summer, Dubrovnik glistened. It's was perfect in every way. The weather was perfect and water was warm and we could swim all day long. All I saw was happiness all around me. The aroma was intoxicating and I knew I was in love. This place would be mine one day and we will have a happy life together!

Honeymoon: It's the we are dating and we couldn't be happier phase. When I first moved here, I was in the euphoria of Dubrovnik. The city had my whole heart. The weather was so amazing when I arrived. I loved every moment of it and refused to see any downside to it. The city was perfect and I couldn't be happier.

Reality: The true colors stage. Winter. Holy shit, this place is DEAD in the winter. There is absolutely nothing to do. I started seeing the other side to the town. It's freaking cold here in the winter. No one leaves their house! And things don't get done very fast here, you have to fight for everything that you want. Internet is down? They might show up...in a week...after you called five times...You lied to me Dubrovnik! You were supposed to be warm and sunny all year round and glisten! You aren't glistening! Why aren't you glistening?!?!

Bail or stay: Now that you know who they really are, do you stay or leave? This is the phase where I either had to accept that this was the reality of this town and this country or leave.

I chose to stay because, at the end of the day, Dubrovnik still holds my heart. And while I now see the dark side to this place, it's not enough for me to let it go. We all wear rose colored glasses when we think of other places. Being raised among a large Croatian community, we are taught to be proud Croatians. I mean, I loved Croatia long before I ever stepped foot on Croatian soil. And I will admit that I had a very different idea about this place when I first moved here. And while reality has set in, I still love Croatia, for better or worse. Plus, these people are really entertaining to me.

I guess we just have to realize that sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but which ever path you choose it will definitely be fun!

Getting To Know The Locals...

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the difficulties of dating in Croatia. I commented on how men don't really approach me or talk to me. I decided to take matters into my own hands and just be my little outgoing self and meet people on my own. This is how it went...

I approached a local's bar with confidence as I was determined to meet new people. Originally, I was just going to sit outside and have a little coffee, but there was no where to sit. Everyone turned to look at me, wondering who I was. I walked into the bar and found about six or seven men inside hanging out. They all stopped at once and just stared at me. They didn't say a word, they just stared. I looked around, smiled, said hello and asked if I could sit down at the bar. Nobody said a word, they just kept staring. I looked at the guy who was sitting and asked if I could sit next to him. Dumbfounded, he just nodded. Ok, I thought, this might be a bit uncomfortable. The guy next to me just kept staring at me, unsure of what to say or do. If I could read his mind, I'm pretty sure the conversation in his head went something like this: This isn't how it's done here! Women don't just come in and sit down with men! There is a process! Women are with women and men are with men! We sit on opposite sides of the room and we don't make eye contact with each other. We talk amongst ourselves and we don't interact. What am I supposed to do?!?! This is DIFFERENT! Can't. Handle. This...

The guy who was working the bar still hadn't asked me what I wanted, so I turned to the guy sitting next to me:

Me: Hi!
Guy: Hello.
Me: How are you?
Guy: Good.
Me: The weather has been really nice today!
Guy: Yes.

Hmmm, a man of few words, I see. Finally, the guy at the bar asks if I would like something to drink. I asked if he would make me a coffee and he was happy to oblige. I turned my attention back to the guy who was sitting next to me and kept asking questions. He started warming up to me and he started having an actual conversation with me. As for the other men in the bar, they slowly backed away from me and ended up in the corner of the bar, at which point they started playing techno music. Perhaps their conversation went like this: What do we do with her? Do we talk to her? What could we say? Maybe we should play some music. Make sure it is really loud and then we can just awkwardly stand there and just smile. We won't have to try to talk to her because it will be too loud. Great plan!

Yes, that's when the music started blasting, but I persisted. I continued to talk to the guy next to me. Then the guy at the bar gave me a shot of Travarica (grapa). Ooooo! How nice! I slowly drank my Travarica and then began talking to the guy at the bar. By this time, the guys were starting to get used to me being there and in their territory. Another guy finally approached me and I started having a good conversation with him. He then proceeded to buy me two shots of Travarica and now I had to be careful because I had to drive and that stuff is strong! Finally, a couple of other girls walked in. How nice, I thought, now other girls can get into conversations with the guys and we will all have a lot of fun! NOPE! The girls proceeded to go over to the OTHER corner of the bar and sit alone. They just sat their with their drinks, smoking, and looking at everyone. The men didn't say anything to them and they didn't say anything to the men unless it was to order another drink.

I, on the other hand, was having loads of fun getting to know these locals. All the guys that I met were born and raised in Dubrovnik and we hard core Dalmatians! Most of them worked on the ship or at the bar that I was at. They were very nice and easy going. They definitely were planning on having a good night of drinking! Alas, I had to leave, as they kept trying to order me more drinks and keep me there for the night!  I had to drive and I knew that if I had any more Travarica, I would be dead drunk and wouldn't be driving anywhere. I said my goodbyes to my new friends and, of course, I was promptly invited back to visit them. I know where I can always find them!

I'm realizing if I want to get to know the people here, I need to not wait for them to come talk to me. I just need to go for it and jump right in. I found them to be delightful and quite welcoming (once they had a couple of drinks and got used to me being there, that is). It was a fun and interesting experience. I kind of want to just start walking into random local's bars and seeing who I can get to talk to me. I'm well on my way!

I have a feeling that this summer is going to be a lot of fun!

Only in Croatia...

The more time I spend in Croatia, the more I notice things. It didn't start that way. I was blissfully happy being quite oblivious but someone couldn't help themselves. He had to start pointing things out to me about Croatians and now I can't stop seeing things every where. I find it entertaining and fascinating since it's so different from what I see in the states. These are just a few things that I have noticed since moving here in what I call, "Only Croatians Can..." I will admit that most of these are directed towards the Croatian men as I have come to realize that we Croatian women are absolutely perfect. ;)

Only Croatian men can be on a motor bike together and not be gay. This is a viable means of transportation and bros look after each other around here.

Only Croatian men can wear a fanny pack or a man purse and still be quite manly. In fact, it's quite the fashion statement. (Come on aboard you American men!!)

Only Croatian men can sit on a bench together with their shirts lifted up over their moobs and their giant bellies showing and still think that they are the coolest men in town. Or maybe they think that they are just sexy beasts...

Only Croatian men can lift one leg up onto a stone and show the family jewels and not be arrested for lewd behavior. In fact, I have decided that this is a mating call of sorts. A bird showing off it's feathers, if you will.

Only Croatians can get in arguments with police officers and not be arrested. In fact they can be in the cop's face, screaming at the cop, and the cop will just not care.

Only Croatian children can get completely hammered after finishing the 8th grade and not be arrested. In fact, the cops look on approvingly, as they smoke their cigarettes and reminisce about their own time in school.

Only Croatians can go out at the age of fifteen to a disco and know that at 3 o'clock in the morning their mom will be their to pick them up and take them home.

Only Croatians can hold up a line while they chat with the cashier about their day or life and no one will get mad at them. They just don't care how long the line is or how long people might have been waiting.

Only Croatians can pass by you on a two lane highway and yell at you for going the speed limit.

Only Croatians can stop a speeding car by stepping in the middle of the road to cross the street. AND take their sweet ass time.

Only Croatians can stop their car in the middle of the road and have a lengthy conversation with the car on the other side. Oh yes, this happens A LOT.

Only Croatians can piss you off more than you will ever know. And when they do piss you off, they will have no idea what they did or said that made you so angry. (I hear this a lot: What? OR What did I do?)

Yes, only in Croatia will you experience things you never even thought about. It's funny, yet alarming, yet utterly entertaining all at the same time. This is simply: Croatia... 

Freshmen Fifteen in Croatia??

I have always been active. I've played sports my entire life and just have always tried to keep a healthy lifestyle. So I don't know for the life of me why I decided that all my working out and dieting goes out the window in Croatia! I think because it's mostly organic, I have decided that the food over here doesn't have any calories and that I could eat as much as I wanted. I have seriously been eating anything that tastes good. Lamb on a spit with potatoes cooked in a bottle of olive oil, pork in olive oil, veal in olive oil, salad with olive oil...get the picture? Olive oil is great for you but I think I might be consuming too much of it. On top of that, this culture is very accepting of drinking wine every day. That makes me very happy as I happen to love wine! So now, I'm not working out, I'm eating EVERYTHING, and I'm drinking to my heart's content. I haven't paid attention to any kind of health plan and haven't wanted to work out. Perhaps, I should have remembered that my body was used to a very strict diet and a work out regime for half marathons. I haven't been on a diet or worked out since I moved here.

The other day, I was walking up the stairs to a friend's place and I got so winded I felt like I was a 70 year old asthmatic smoker. It took me five minutes for my heart rate to go back to normal. Then, two days ago, I was going through my closet and found a dress that I have only worn once when I was probably at my most fit. I put it on and, while I could zip it up, I looked like a stuffed sausage. Not cool.

Needless to say, I have since cut back on my food and alcohol intake and have even started exercising again. I'm determined to look good in that dress again and maybe even wear it for my 30th birthday. Plus, let's face it it's swimsuit season and I'm vain and want to look my best.

Of course that's not stopping me from going out tonight for dinner with my girlfriends for some yummy Bosnian cuisine and wine. What can I say, I live in Croatia...
 

Read All About It: Date Ruined By Tourists!

Perhaps the title is a bit dramatic, but it's how I felt at the moment...

As the summer goes on, more and more of the locals tend to complain about the tourists. So far I haven't too many issues and have been handling them pretty well, UNTIL TODAY. Call me a princess if you want, but I don't like when people ruin my plans, especially a lunch date! That's right, a real life, honest to God date! Well, almost date. Half date? Damn you tourists!

The day started out like any other day. I went over to a friend's house to help her out with a couple of things. I was going to help her out, then run to town to greet some guests at my apartment. After that, I was just going to come home and relax. While I was at my friends house, a guy called me. I was rather excited to see his call as I had not heard from him in a while. He called to ask me to lunch! With a big smile on my face, I accepted! I told him that I have to get the guests into the apartment and should be done by 1:00. So we agreed to meet at one and told me that he would pick me and we could go to a nice little restaurant around town. Yay, I think, I'm finally get to go out with this guy! Awesome! Except as soon as I get off the phone with him I realize that I'm not wearing any makeup, my hair isn't done and I'm not really looking my best. I wasn't expecting to go out with anyone and now I'm questioning if this is a good idea. I mean, I want to look my best! Oh well, I think, forge on! This date is happening, regardless of how I look!

As I was going into town to greet my guests and meet up with him, the following conversation went through my head: Wow, I really look like shit. I'm not wearing any makeup. At least I have mascara on. Did I shave my legs? Nope!...just don't tell him that you didn't shave your legs. You will be fine...wait, did I shave my armpits? Armpit check...yup! At least I did that! How does my hair look? Holy shit, does my hair really look like that? Just keep it up in a bun. Is my shirt stretching out? Holy crap it's stretching out and now my bra is showing. Great, now I look slutty. God, it's hot today. Why am I sweating so much? Is it really THAT hot? I'm sweating like a whore in church! I hope I don't smell..That would just be awkward. Crap, I'm so hungry! I need to eat. I'm a real bitch when I'm hungry. Be cool, Marina, don't get all bitchy on him. I will just eat a snickers bar, that should hold me over until lunch. Just be sweet and don't cuss...try to be a lady for once and don't be weird! It's too early to be weird! That's second date material. Just be cool!

I get to town, buy myself a snickers and wait for my guests to arrive. Except that by one o'clock they still aren't at the apartment. Seriously? Of all the days that this has to happen! And here he comes in a Renault 4!! I start cracking up. Obviously, he reads my blog! A sense of humor! I like that! Because I have to wait for my guests to arrive, we go to a cafe. But now I'm starting to get really hungry. Just stay calm. Don't get bitchy. I can do this! We sit down and have coffee and start chatting. We have a great conversation. He is sweet and funny. I like. But holy crap, my stomach is growling! Where the hell are these people?! I want a ride in the Renault! We chat as I wait, but I keep getting calls and I feel bad because I'm not able to completely focus on him. I want these tourists to come so that we can go eat! I'm starving! Uh oh...Bitch alert! It's happening! I'm getting really grumpy because one, I'm freaking hungry and two these stupid guests are ruining my date and three, I am really sweating and now I'm all sticky! Whhhhyyyy?!?! I'm trying to be at my best, but the headache is setting in and it's hot and now I'm just really annoyed at these guests who, I have decided, devised a plan to ruin my life! He waits as long as he can, but he has to leave and do some work. I can't blame him. Neither one of us expected this. He leaves and I turn my rage to those guests. Damn you!!! You are all destroyer of lives! Yeah, I'm pretty dramatic when I'm hungry. They finally arrive three hours later... I get them into the apartment and I leave hungry and extremely grumpy.

Once I got home and put food in my stomach, I calmed down. At least, I got to have coffee with him and get to know him a bit. Hopefully, next time, I will be better company and be a little bit more dolled up. And while our lunch date didn't go exactly as planned, I still had a good time and really enjoyed our conversation. And bonus points for coming in a Renault 4!

Until the next adventure!

Watch What You Say!

I grew up around a bunch of smart ass, sarcastic people. We all make fun of each other and we don't take ourselves too seriously. We say things to each other that might be offensive to others, but to us, it's hilarious. That being said, I'm learning that I really have to be careful with what I say to people here. For one, some of what I say gets lost in translation and they might end up taking me a little too seriously.

A few weeks ago, I helped out a friend do a tour for a large group of American tourists. A week later he came by my house to pay me for my time. I walked out to his car which was parked on the corner next to our house. He proceeded to pull out a wad of cash and believe me, the irony wasn't lost on me. He smiled and said, "do you take dollars?" to which I replied, "Honey, I'll accept anything you give me." His eyes got really big and he started looking around, trying to see if anyone was around, listening to our conversation. He said that I couldn't say things like that. What do you mean? It was too good to pass up! I HAD to! Apparently, people here like to eavesdrop on conversations. So if anyone over heard me and actually understood what I was saying...well let's just say, I would be the talk of town, and probably not in a good way!

I'm trying to be more careful, but I can't help myself. Recently, I had a conversation about Renault 4s. They are hilarious looking cars that can't go more than 80km an hour. I made a joke that if someone picked me up in one of those cars, they would definitely be getting lucky. Great...Now, if a guy actually finds the courage to actually ask me out, he will probably pick me up in a Renault 4 with a wad of cash...



For those of you who don't know what a Renault 4 is:

Dating in Croatia...Easier Said Than Done!

First, let me start off by saying that these are simply my own opinions and what I have experienced. Take what I say with a grain of salt and know that more than anything I find my experiences to be mostly funny...

A few weeks ago I read an article about the top ten reasons to date a Croatian. I read it and laughed at it. First of all, the things written were a Croat at his/her best. It's true we like the finer things in life and are extremely passionate people. We are romantic and pretty darn attractive...I mean, really, there are some damn hot men walking the streets of Dubrovnik. However, I have a slightly different take on what it's like dating guys from Croatia. Spending most of my life in the States, naturally I have a certain way of thinking, especially when dating, but I have discovered that all that goes out the window in this land. Oh the joys of dating!


First: The passionate guy... He's the guy who sees you walking into the room, his mouth drops open and in that instant he will do anything to have you. Oh yes, I remember it well...It was a whirlwind romance...dinner, drinks, long talks on the pier. We talked of going away together and the future was bright. His passion for me was exhilarating. How could I not get caught up in that?! Finally, I have found an amazing guy who sees my worth and won't let me go!  But wait! He is letting me go! What's going on?? What's happppeeennniinnngg?! In the blink of an eye, the passion goes away, just as fast as it started. What happened?!...Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....you got bored...you found a new girl? You've decided that you love her now? Well I will leave you two alone then! ...So much for the happily ever after with that guy...On to the next!

Second: He's here then he's gone...oh wait you're back! Now you are gone.. I met this guy who was so cute and very kind. He and I had a great conversation. It seemed that he was in to me and I thought I was giving the vibe that I was into him to, but then he disappears. But then, a couple of days later, there he is adding me on Facebook! Oh yay! I wait patiently for the message...you know the message that is so adorable as he shyly asks me out. But nothing. Ok, maybe he's just REALLY shy...I will write him, really put it out there that I am interested. I write an adorable message, if I do say so myself. I'm reserved yet slightly flirty, how could anyone resist? But he doesn't respond. Ok then, must have scared him off. But wait! There he is, I run into him in town. He says that he saw my message but he has a hard time writing in English. Of course! What was I thinking?! We talk and flirt. I'm liking this guy more and more. Later that night, I get a message from him. He asks me out! YES! This is great, I think! We plan on going out later on in the week. We exchange numbers and he says he will call to confirm. I'm so excited! I get to go out with this great guy and get to know him. But then he never calls! UGH! Whhhyyyy?!?! Two weeks later, there he is again. He comes right up to me and apologizes. He's been so busy but he still really wants to take me out. Later that night, another message. He was happy to see me. I think well this time, we are going out for sure. NOPE! Disappeared again! I give up! Great guy...would love to go out and get to know him...but he kind of has to follow through. I'm not sure men here realize that when you make plans with a girl, you should really come through with those plans. Doesn't look good buddy! He's still cute though!

Third: I like you so I will just stare at you and then add you on Facebook later. Oh yes, I know this all too well. I went to an event with my dad a while back and I was one of the few girls there. I was pretty bored because no one was talking to me. They would just stand there and stare. These guys, are either to shy to come up and talk to me or creepy stalkers. Guys here are notorious for undressing you with their eyes. They have no shame. They will blatantly stare at you as you pass them. I then began getting a bunch of friend requests from all these guys. How the hell do they know my name? Small town, everyone knows the name of the Croatian/American girl who lives in Konavle. Of course, not that they sent me any messages through Facebook...I think they just wanted to continue to stare. Stop staring and come talk to me people! You are freaking me out!

These are just a few examples. Dating here is actually quite difficult. There are more women in Dubrovnik than there are men, so of course the men now think that they are God's gift. Then, of course, once the season starts and all those tourists come...you know the ones I'm talking about...the slutty girls who go on vacation with one goal: Sleep with a hot foreigner. Now, you have to deal with the men being faithful here, which from what I understand, is a rather big problem. Cheating is rampant here and it goes both ways. There are a lot of hot guys on holiday looking for a little Croatian romance too. How do you come to terms with that? Truth is, I don't care how many women a man has slept with. It could be two or could be a hundred, it doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is that once he is with me, that I can trust him when he says that I'm the only one. I want to know that when we get in a fight or things get tough in our relationship that he isn't going to go off, get drunk, and sleep with the first woman who throws herself at him.

Of course, I have also met some really decent men here too. I have had amazing conversations with them and have been treated like a princess. Good guys do exist here, but it's like going to a thrift store, you have to sift through a lot shit, to find the one decent thing on the rack.

And so my journey continues...

And so it begins...

Nine months ago I made the decision to move to Croatia. It was always something that I had wanted to do and finally made the move. Of course, it doesn't come without it's apprehension. I moved here at the age of 28 years old. I was scared that I was doing this at a rather old age since most people travel around in their early to mid twenties. I mean, really, what is a 28 year old single girl doing moving to a foreign country? While it helps that I have family in Croatia and have spent many summers here, it's still a big move for me. Throughout the past nine months I have had moments where I stopped and thought, "what the hell am I doing???? I had a really great life in California with lots to do and an amazing group of friends, why did I just give that all up?" Of course, once I calm myself down, I remember why...It was a choice that I had to make. If I didn't do this, I would have always regretted it. One of my favorite quotes is, "I would rather regret the things that I have done, than the things I have not."  That's how I have always wanted to live my life. It's the kind of person I am and will always be. Some don't understand it, but it doesn't matter. I am who I am and this is a path I needed to take...not in the Eat Pray Love way where I'm sitting here looking for inner peace. It's more of the, what kind of trouble can I get myself in to if I go down that path, kind of way. So far, it's been quite a ride and who knows what will happen next. Whatever it is, I know that it will just add to the story of my life. What can I say, I'm up for anything! I only have this one life, so I better make it worthwhile.