Getting To Know The Locals...

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the difficulties of dating in Croatia. I commented on how men don't really approach me or talk to me. I decided to take matters into my own hands and just be my little outgoing self and meet people on my own. This is how it went...

I approached a local's bar with confidence as I was determined to meet new people. Originally, I was just going to sit outside and have a little coffee, but there was no where to sit. Everyone turned to look at me, wondering who I was. I walked into the bar and found about six or seven men inside hanging out. They all stopped at once and just stared at me. They didn't say a word, they just stared. I looked around, smiled, said hello and asked if I could sit down at the bar. Nobody said a word, they just kept staring. I looked at the guy who was sitting and asked if I could sit next to him. Dumbfounded, he just nodded. Ok, I thought, this might be a bit uncomfortable. The guy next to me just kept staring at me, unsure of what to say or do. If I could read his mind, I'm pretty sure the conversation in his head went something like this: This isn't how it's done here! Women don't just come in and sit down with men! There is a process! Women are with women and men are with men! We sit on opposite sides of the room and we don't make eye contact with each other. We talk amongst ourselves and we don't interact. What am I supposed to do?!?! This is DIFFERENT! Can't. Handle. This...

The guy who was working the bar still hadn't asked me what I wanted, so I turned to the guy sitting next to me:

Me: Hi!
Guy: Hello.
Me: How are you?
Guy: Good.
Me: The weather has been really nice today!
Guy: Yes.

Hmmm, a man of few words, I see. Finally, the guy at the bar asks if I would like something to drink. I asked if he would make me a coffee and he was happy to oblige. I turned my attention back to the guy who was sitting next to me and kept asking questions. He started warming up to me and he started having an actual conversation with me. As for the other men in the bar, they slowly backed away from me and ended up in the corner of the bar, at which point they started playing techno music. Perhaps their conversation went like this: What do we do with her? Do we talk to her? What could we say? Maybe we should play some music. Make sure it is really loud and then we can just awkwardly stand there and just smile. We won't have to try to talk to her because it will be too loud. Great plan!

Yes, that's when the music started blasting, but I persisted. I continued to talk to the guy next to me. Then the guy at the bar gave me a shot of Travarica (grapa). Ooooo! How nice! I slowly drank my Travarica and then began talking to the guy at the bar. By this time, the guys were starting to get used to me being there and in their territory. Another guy finally approached me and I started having a good conversation with him. He then proceeded to buy me two shots of Travarica and now I had to be careful because I had to drive and that stuff is strong! Finally, a couple of other girls walked in. How nice, I thought, now other girls can get into conversations with the guys and we will all have a lot of fun! NOPE! The girls proceeded to go over to the OTHER corner of the bar and sit alone. They just sat their with their drinks, smoking, and looking at everyone. The men didn't say anything to them and they didn't say anything to the men unless it was to order another drink.

I, on the other hand, was having loads of fun getting to know these locals. All the guys that I met were born and raised in Dubrovnik and we hard core Dalmatians! Most of them worked on the ship or at the bar that I was at. They were very nice and easy going. They definitely were planning on having a good night of drinking! Alas, I had to leave, as they kept trying to order me more drinks and keep me there for the night!  I had to drive and I knew that if I had any more Travarica, I would be dead drunk and wouldn't be driving anywhere. I said my goodbyes to my new friends and, of course, I was promptly invited back to visit them. I know where I can always find them!

I'm realizing if I want to get to know the people here, I need to not wait for them to come talk to me. I just need to go for it and jump right in. I found them to be delightful and quite welcoming (once they had a couple of drinks and got used to me being there, that is). It was a fun and interesting experience. I kind of want to just start walking into random local's bars and seeing who I can get to talk to me. I'm well on my way!

I have a feeling that this summer is going to be a lot of fun!