America: Week One

So I've been in California for a week now and I have to say that it is such an odd feeling being back in the states after being gone for a year. I think what is most interesting are the things that I have had to readjust to. The readjustment began the moment I got off the plane; no more Croatian and no more hearing English with an accent.

My younger brother picked me up from the airport. It was so good to see him after a year. He has changed a lot and it was nice talking to him on our drive back to Sacramento. Of course, the drive itself was interesting. I didn't realize how long it had been since I had driven on a road with multiple lanes. I seriously freaked out. I kept yelling at my brother to watch the road and anytime a car came near us, I yelled, "Car!" Which only scared the shit out of my brother. I was holding on to the handles and glove box for dear life. At one point my brother told me to just push the seat back and get some rest, but I couldn't do it. I was too freaked out. Imagine the worst back seat driver you've ever driven with and multiply that by ten. That's how bad I was. I was fine after a day, but man was I scared.

Once I started driving, I kept having to remember which law goes with which country. It was like a little game show going on in my head. Can I turn on red or do I have to wait? In Croatia, you can't turn on a red, in California you can. Do my headlights have to be on at all times?

There have been simple things that I had to readjust to as well. I was at the store with my sister and actually asked her if we could get everything we need or did we have to go to another store to get the rest of the ingredients. Of course we can get everything we need at one store! This is America! Are things open past 8pm? Yes. Are they open on Sundays? Yes.

And then of course, the food. I have spent the last week enjoying food that I can't get in Dubrovnik. I had Mongolian BBQ, In n Out Burger, Jack's Urban Eats, Recess Peanut Butter Cups, M&Ms...all of which have been delicious. I allowed myself the first week to indulge in that stuff, now I'm back to my regular diet. I know that if I'm not careful, instead of a one way ticket back to Croatia, it will be straight to fat camp for me. What can I say, I'm about to be 30, I have to be more careful these days.

I have surprised myself at things that I do, that I never even thought of. I was standing in line and totally forgot that people here like their personal space. So as I was waiting in line I walked up and stood really close to the person in front of me. She moved up so I moved up. It took me a couple of minutes and a dirty look to remember where I was and take a step back. Then there's the whole crossing the street thing. In Croatia, a pedestrian will stop traffic crossing the street. They don't care if there is no cross walk, they will cross and expect you to stop. I kept wanting to do that here, but, as I was reminded, that's not how it works here. Cars aren't expected to stop just because you want to cross the street.

Finally, the things that I never thought I'd miss, I actually do. I have made many comments on how the men in Croatia will just stop and stare as a woman walks by. It's hilarious and creepy all at the same time, yet I find myself missing that. I walk down the street here and no one is blatantly staring at me. awwww. There are no motorbikes here, no streets lined with cafe bars. People aren't sitting there, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes all day. No cousin to see who offers me wine and Rakija the moment I sit down.

I knew that there would be things that I would have to adjust to but I didn't realize just how much. I am happy to be around my family and friends again. I love that I get to spend time with my siblings and be around for dinners and talks. It's a great feeling to know that I could get into my car and see my sister and brothers at anytime or any day. Yet, I also realize that I have changed a lot and I'm trying to fit the new me into an old life and it's not always easy. It feels like my heart is being pulled into two different directions: My love for my family and friends in California and my love for my life over in Croatia. It should be an interesting few months...

The Wedding

Last Saturday I went to my neighbor's wedding. I have never been to a full on Croatian wedding and I was overwhelmed by how, well, very different it is from American weddings. In fact, weddings in Croatia are in whole different world than the wedding in the United States.

Croatian weddings begin five days before the actual wedding itself. For an entire week before, people come over to give gifts and drink and celebrate with the bride and groom. There is food, drinking, and music that plays until the wee hours of the morning and then it starts all over the next day. The wedding day itself starts pretty early as there is a celebration as the bride moves her things into her soon-to-be husband's house. A giant Croatian flag is hung out in front of the family house as people come in to see the bride and begin the celebration. In most weddings in the United States the bride and groom wait to see each other until the ceremony begins. That is not the tradition here. The groom comes in with all of his friends and they all dance and celebrate together before the ceremony even begins.

As I was getting ready, my mom came in and said that they are getting ready to shoot off some guns and not to be alarmed. All I could do was laugh as I tried to picture that happening in America. When the guns went off, they weren't shot guns but machine guns. Everyone was cheering as the guns went off to announce the marriage of these two people. After that, we all got into our cars and began the long procession to the church. In Croatia, it is customary to honk your horns as you drive to let everyone know of the wedding.

At the church, there is more alcohol being passed around as the bride and groom are married and then another procession to the reception. As the bride and groom come out as husband and wife, flares go off and huge cheers and celebration. As the newlyweds come in for the reception, fireworks go off.

The reception itself lasts until 4 or 5 in the morning. We sit down and drink a little, then eat a little, then everyone dances for a bit and then back to eat again. The main course is served around midnight and cake around 1 or 2am. After that, it's just dancing, singing and drinking until your body can no longer take it.

It was one of the craziest weddings that I have ever been too, but it was absolutely beautiful. The bride looked gorgeous and the ceremony and reception were beautiful and elegant. To host over 300 people at a wedding as well as the week leading up to the wedding takes a lot of work. It was done flawlessly and I have to commend the bride, groom, and their families for making that wedding so utterly beautiful.

I'm not sure that I could ever have a wedding of that magnitude, but it sure was fun to be apart of it and experience something new.

Congratulations to Nikolina and Ivo. 

Things I've learned while living in Croatia

Watching the sunset over Old Town Dubrovnik never gets old and it is perfectly acceptable to take a thousand pictures of the sunset from my balcony.

Walking through old town in October is way nicer than walking through it in July.
Parking is impossible

Expect your car to be hit, scratched or dented at least once a week.

The government of Dubrovnik meters parking 24 hours a day, however, if there is a public holiday, if it's raining, if it's cold, if it's after 10pm, you can just leave it and not bother paying the meter.

If you are woman and a man finds you attractive they will stare as you walk by.

If you stare back at them, it will surprise them.

Rakija cures everything.

It is perfectly acceptable to take prescribed meds with Rakija...

If you drink too much Rakija, it will erase your memory and you will wonder how you got home. Drink that shit responsibly people!

Cab drivers are assholes.

If you go to your friends house, be prepared to drink...even if its at 11am.

Don't mess with Croatian women, they will destroy you.

When it rains here, it usually involves lots of wind...your umbrella won't help you.

Croatian humor and American humor are very different...I don't get most of their jokes.

When needing official documents, passport, ID card, visas, etc., be prepared to be sent across town to get one sheet of paper signed, then to the Tisak for tax stamps, followed by a receipt from the bank before anything will be approved.

If you want to get things done faster, bribery always works.

People here don't give a shit if you're in a hurry.

Just because your apartment building has an association doesn't mean that they will ever fix the leak in the roof...in fact, don't expect them to fix anything...ever.

Croatians are not alcoholics. They are alcohol enthusiasts. Accept that you will quickly become an alcohol enthusiast upon arriving here.
 
Croatians know how to have a good time.

Croatians are some of the most loyal people I've ever met in my life.

Sitting at a cafe bar all day long drinking coffee and talking to friends is encouraged.

These are just a few of the things that I have learned while I have been here. There are times when I am frustrated by these people because I don't always understand their way of thinking, but I wouldn't change them for the world. They have taught me so much simply by just being themselves and that is priceless.

One Week Left

It is my final week in Croatia before I head back to California. Hard to believe that I haven't stepped on American soil in over a year. I think back on my year here and memories flood my mind. I have had some of the best moments of my life here. I have also experienced a lot of firsts. I have made friends with some of the most amazing people that I have ever met. I managed to make a little life for myself here and I must admit that I am sad to be leaving.

As I reflect on the year, I think of all the crazy things I managed to get myself into. There was that conc....no wait, can't talk about that...Of course then there was that time in that one bar.....nope, won't talk about that either...Oh! How could I forget the night that I got hit by a giant wave...well, no need to go into details about that....ummmm...I guess as the saying goes, "what happens in Croatia, stays in Croatia." Let's just say it was a GREAT year. I have no regrets and I have experienced things that I am so glad that I got to experience.

Now, it's back to California for a little while...just until I can get myself over to my next adventure! While, I will miss Croatia immensely while I am away, I must say that I am looking forward to seeing all my old friends, my sister, my two brothers, and the rest of my family. And just because I won't be in Croatia, doesn't mean I won't be writing my blog anymore. I have no doubt that I will manage to get myself into plenty of interesting situations that will have to be written about.

As always, I am looking forward to the future!

Heart and Soul

Last night we celebrated my cousin's wedding. She was married earlier in the year and her family threw her a party. We went to a great local restaurant in Lapad where we ate Prsut and cheese and lamb under the bell with all the wine you can drink. There was a band that was going from table to table and playing old Croatian songs. At times, the entire restaurant would sing along with their hands in the air, swaying side to side, feeling every emotion of the song. I don't know many Croatian songs but it didn't matter, I watched as they sang and swayed with them.

Out on the terrace, there was a large table of men. They were apart of a different party but when the band came to them, they sang the loudest. At one point, my other cousin and I walked out onto the terrace and all the guys from the table got up and started singing to us as we walked by. I don't think I have ever experienced anything like that before. Men in the states don't just break out into song as a girl walks by, of course I wouldn't mind seeing that happening at some point in my life. As we headed back to our table, the men, even louder this time, all got up and started serenading us all over again. I couldn't help but laugh. Some had their arms stretched out towards us, while others had their hands on their heart, singing as loud as they could. It was the most beautiful way to be hit on.

Later in the night, as the wine continued to flow, people began to dance. They danced all over the restaurant; not caring who saw them or if they were bad dancers, they just moved to the beat. They were laughing and dancing and singing. At one point, I got pulled into a dance with a guy I had never met before. We danced and he sang along to the song as I smiled. It was such a wonderful night. 

These people have so much heart and soul and it is evident in the way they sing their songs, how they dance, laugh, and speak. They are passionate and lively and when you are among them, you can't help but feel the warmth of these people. They always make life more interesting. There are times when, as an American, I just want to slap the crap out of them because they frustrate me so. Yet, as angry as I can get at these people, I can't help but love them. They are who they are. They don't apologize and they don't make excuses. You have to take them as they are and never try to change them, as if anyone could anyway. At the end of the day, they are the reason why I love this place so much and why I don't want to leave.

Easy Living

I spend most of my time in a town called Konavle. One of the things that I love most about where I live is that I am surrounded by open land. When I walk outside onto the terrace in the morning I can see green hills and valleys for miles. It's quiet and peaceful here. Everyone has their land that they work; each growing their own fruits and vegetables. Our neighbors bring over onions and fruit because there is too much and they don't want them to go to waste. One of my neighbors said that I can go down and pick fresh arugula and tomatoes for as long as they are there. Yesterday, as I was picking the arugula and tomatoes, I thought about how I would never have even considered doing this in the states. I never thought that I would like doing that kind of stuff. Yet, as I was out there picking these things, I felt so calm and happy. Who knew that picking fresh vegetables could be so calming. I thought about when I first moved here, how I couldn't even recognize what parsley looked like when being grown in a garden. I thought it was a weed the first time I saw it. Yet, here I am, a year later, picking fresh vegetables; knowing which are good and which aren't and loving it. 

In my year here, I have found that the people in Konavle live a quiet life, that's simple and peaceful. They are kind and warm and welcoming. They may never have the fanciest car or biggest house but they are okay with that. They are good people who live a good life. I'd even venture to say that they have a true understanding of the meaning of life and I can't help but admire them.

Yes, I must say that I have fallen in love with this place and will surely miss it when I leave.   

Summer's over, time to settle down....or is it?

It's September which means that the season is finally beginning to wind down here in Dubrovnik. It's been a crazy summer for me full of working, dinner with friends and family, and partying. I don't think that I have done anything like that in my life. I'm nearly 30, this should be the time when I should be thinking about marriage and babies and shit. NOPE. Instead of doing the grown up responsible thing of husband hunting, I partied like never before. I was going out every couple of days and drinking and dancing and having blast. I met some of the coolest people from all over the world. I spent the summer going out, sleeping for a few hours then getting up, going to the gym, then going to greet new guests who were at my apartment. I wasn't doing it everyday but, it sure felt like it. Towards the end of the summer, I looked in the mirror and thought, "Holy Shit! I am looking a bit haggard!" That's when I knew it was time for a break.

I know that there might be people who may think that I'm absolutely crazy; that I should settle down and stop acting like I'm 20. Well...I spent most of my twenties trying to do the right thing, being a grown up, looking for my one true love, thinking that I found him, realizing that I fucked up and spent way too much time with the wrong guy, and then being afraid and sad that I missed out on so many things that I wanted to do with my life. Turns out, it's never too late to do the things we've always wanted to do. So, I set out to check certain things off of my bucket list and I  let loose for a bit; sew my wild oats, if you will. And I have to say that some of the best moments of my life happened this summer.

Of course, it's September now and I'm tired; I mean I'm almost 30 after all. I've moved back to the countryside and am spending my days curled up on my couch reading a book or watching a good movie. I still go out, but I've definitely calmed my partying ways down a bit.

My life went down an entirely different track than I thought it would. I honestly thought that at this age, I would be married and starting a family. Had my life gone down that path, I would never have gotten the chance to experience all these amazing things that have happened to me. It's been a bumpy road at times, but I wouldn't change these last couple of years for the world. And at the end of the day, I know that I will settle down and get married and have babies one day. I'm not too worried about that. Everything happens when the time is right. These last couple of years have been a time for me to get to know myself again, find my self confidence, and just learn how to have fun again. Mission accomplished.

Why Are You Still Single?!

Living in Croatia, I feel like I get a lot more pressure to settle down and get married. I think that it is more common for women to get married in their early twenties. I'm nearly 30 and no where near getting married. I don't even have a boyfriend! It makes me laugh because friends will say to me, "You're going to get married next!" I'm not sure how that is possible since I need to be dating someone in order to get to the marriage talk.

So why am I not in a relationship? It's not that I can't find a guy to be with here and it's not like I haven't been dating because I have. I have been out on dates and I have had some really good times, yet no one has really convinced me that I should give up my single ways in favor of a relationship. It's not their fault really. I make sure that they can't. In fact, the last thing that I want is someone falling in love with me and me breaking their heart. For those who are closest to me, it's no secret that I went through a very difficult break up and feeling the pain of a broken heart is not something that I would ever wish upon anyone. So, I figure, until I know for sure that I am ready to do the whole relationship thing, I purposely stay away from men who are looking to for a girlfriend. It's pretty easy for me too. When I go out with someone who is really cool or someone that I really like, I just find something that I don't like and focus on that. "He's a great guy. He has everything going for him, a job, a house, good head on his shoulders, good looking, but the other night I noticed that he had a mole on his arm and that will never do." Or "I like him, but his eyes are too close together." Or "He has a stray hair on his head and I will never be OK with that." Yup, it's that simple for me.

I think I'm just in that mode of wanting to enjoy the life that I have made for myself. I made my bed and I desperately want to lie in it for a while. I've been single for nearly two years now. The first year really sucked because of the whole broken heart thing and hating every couple on the planet. Now, I feel like I have really come into my own and am loving every single minute of it. I'm doing the things that I want to do and not worrying about anyone else but myself. As someone who is really good at devoting herself to the one she loves, it's been great fun finally loving myself and who I am and making no apologies for it.

At the end of the day, I will settle down eventually. In fact, I have met a couple of guys that I would give up my single life for, but because I know that, I keep them at a distance or push them away. Maybe I'm scared of giving that much of myself again to someone else. Or maybe I'm just not ready to be in a relationship yet. I don't know, but what I do know is, I am having a lot of fun!

Tourist Season

It's been quite a summer and I have to admit that I'm a bit tired! When I first moved here, my parents would say, just wait until you experience the tourist season, then you will understand. I scoffed! I'm still young, surely it can't be that bad! It's not that it's bad, it's just exhausting!

I don't have, what you would call, a full time job. I manage our property as it is rented out in the summer to tourists. Yet, having to deal with tourists can be extremely exhausting. These people are on vacation and don't have a care in the world, just like me when I came here on vacation. Yet, if I had the opportunity to sit down and chat with all of these tourists this is what I would say:

1. While this may not be your home, it is ours, please treat it with respect. I had people who rented the apartment for two days and trashed the place. It looked like they had brought in a bucket of sand and spread it across the floor. Not to mention the walls that looked like they had splashed drinks or something on them or them using every dish in the apartment, then putting the dirty dishes back. It took me three days to properly clean it and even then I still couldn't quite get all of the sand.

2. Just because your vacation isn't going as you thought it would go doesn't mean you should take it out on us. I had a couple rent the apartment because their last place was too small. When I told them that they had to climb up the stairs to get to my place, they had a fit, yet they still decided to stay. Angry, they made a huge mess, took our apartment towels down to the beach and brought back tons of sand in the towels and didn't bother to leave them outside. The worst part is that they left a horrible review and literally made things up because they were having a crappy holiday. Please be aware that this is how we make our money and by writing horrible things that aren't even true can in fact hurt us in the long run.

3. If you drive to Dubrovnik in July and August don't complain about parking. Every guidebook in the world tells tourists not to drive to Dubrovnik in high season. Parking can be difficult enough in the winter when there are no tourists, but it's damn near impossible in July and August.  Oh and if you drive a 10 passenger van, all I have to say to you is Good Luck.

4.  Please don't throw your trash into the sea. We have the most amazing sea and we would like to keep it that way.

5. Don't blame me for not learning your language. Ok, I'm American so learning a second language wasn't that high on the list. Croatians can usually speak two or three languages and those are usually, English, German, French, and/or Italian. If you don't speak one of those languages, we are going to have a very difficult time communicating with you so please be patient with us.

Those are just a few things that I would say. It's definitely been a learning experience for me and has made me appreciate a lot of what people do here and other tourist places. People on vacation can be exhausting and while we need them to survive, I hope that they understand that a little bit of kindness goes a long way for us.

Vespa: 1 Marina: 0

In my 29 years I have never actually driven a Vespa/motorbike. I've been on them all the time, always with someone else driving them. So when my friend was looking to buy an old Vespa, they said that I could use that bike to learn how to ride one.

You see, living in Dubrovnik, it's completely natural for people to have a motorbike. Most people around here own a motorbike. Dubrovnik is a small town and there is a lot of traffic in the summer so having a motorbike to ride around town in is perfect.

Since moving here, I always wanted to have one. I thought that they are just so much more convenient than my massive car. Yesterday, I finally got my chance to get on a Vespa and try it out for myself. Now, this Vespa is quite old and is a manual. The gears and clutch are on one handle bar while the gas and the break are on the other handle bar. I can drive a manual car and the concept on a bike is basically the same, except you are using your hands to push the clutch in and speed up. When I got on the bike and started to go forward, I realized just how powerful this machine is and was slightly intimated, but I managed to make the bike go. The video below is my first attempt on the bike. I was quite excited!

 

As you can see, I was a little unbalanced but otherwise successful...That is until my next attempt. I don't really know what happened. I had the clutch in first gear. It was a straight shot, in fact it was the exact same driveway that I was going down. Yet, when I pushed the clutch in and gave it some gas, the bike jerked which startled me. The next thing I know, the motorbike is heading straight for a wall. In these situations, people always say that you need to remain calm and think clearly. I'm sorry, but I was heading for a wall, my brain was not thinking clearly. In fact, it was having a blonde moment at the worst possible time. Instead of hitting the brake, I kept pressing the gas. I let go of the clutch thinking it would stop the motorbike. Why on earth would I think that?!!! My car is a stick shift. I know that when I let go of the clutch the car will keep running because that's how the car continues to move. Yet, in that moment, I got it into my head that by, letting go of the clutch, the bike will miraculously stop. Of course, I was still pressing on the gas which was making me go faster and only freaked me out more. At one point, I think I tried to stop the bike by putting my feet on the ground as if I was riding a bicycle. Seriously, as I headed for the wall, all logic left my brain and for a moment I went completely stupid. What else could I do, but run right into the wall. And wouldn't you know it, when I let go of the gas, low and behold the bike shut off. Amazing! Not sure why I didn't think of that sooner!

When I ran into the wall, I fell and the bike landed on me. My legs and arm are a bit scraped up with a few bruises. It hurt like hell, but I was actually more concerned about the bike. The only thing that I could think of was, great, they let me get on their bike and I crash it. Go me! The bike was fine and, although, a little bruised up, I am also fine. Once my friend and her husband realized I was all right, we all had a good laugh. It's just a shame that she didn't get it on video. 

As for me and the Vespa, I will be getting back up on that horse soon enough. I am determined to learn how to ride one. A few bruises won't stop me!

The Ill Fated Top

It's summer and pretty hot in Dubrovnik. It's not the dry heat that I am used to. It's a more humid heat that makes you feel sticky and gross. My friend's are in Dubrovnik on holiday and invited me into Old Town for some dinner and drinks. As I got ready for my evening out and deciding on what to wear, I concluded that I wanted to wear something light and airy. Basically, I wanted to wear as little as possible. I put on some shorts and a top...

The top. The top is a pretty sexy top that is backless and slightly shear. So when I wear it, I can wear a bra with it. The way it falls, everything is pretty covered up and I have worn it out a few times with no problem. As I left my apartment, I noticed it was a bit breezy outside. I paused and contemplated changing my top because one gust of wind I will be showing my goods to all of Dubrovnik. I decided against changing for two reasons. One: It was still really freaking hot. Two: The place where I live gets a lot of wind when the rest of the town will have no wind. I thought it was just my little area that was windy and that once I get to town, I will be fine. And besides, it wasn't all the windy...

I drove to town and when I got out of my car, the wind wasn't only there it was much stronger. So strong that the normally very calm Adriatic Sea was wavy and white caps. Oh shit, I thought to myself. I once again contemplated driving back home just so I could change, but I'd come too far and was already running a bit late to meet up with my friend. I decided to forge on! I figured I would just carefully watch my top to make sure that everything was staying in place. As I walked down the stairs, the wind wasn't that bad. I can handle this, I thought. I came out of the stairwell and on to the main road where I began heading to Old Town, when a huge gust of wind came out of nowhere. I swear, for a moment, it felt like everything was in slow motion. As the gust of wind came up, my eyes got huge as I let out a loud, NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I looked down to see my top blowing in all different directions and no longer covering me properly. I covered myself with my hands and fixed my top, as I looked up I noticed a group of four men walking up. Where did they come from?!!! I pretended like nothing happened and prayed that they didn't see anything, but as I walked closer and closer, I could see the very big smiles on their faces as they stared at me. By this point, I was holding my blouse closed so the wind couldn't have it's way with my top again. As I was passing these guys, one of them put his hand up to his chest to mimic what I was doing, then gave me a thumbs up and a nod. I just laughed and gave them a little wave and walked a little bit faster towards town.

Thank God for my friend, who happened to have a safety pin on her. She helped me pin my blouse closed and for the rest of the night, there was no amount of wind that could open that blouse up again.

And to the random four guys that walked past me, I hope you enjoyed the show. ;)

Marking Your Territory

A couple of days ago, I was having lunch with a friend of mine. She told me that she was taking her dog for a walk when she came across a man taking a crap right along the path she wanted to walk. She was horrified and rightly so! The only time I've seen anyone taking a crap on the street was when I was driving down Sunset blvd in LA. It's Sunset Blvd so I was only slightly disturbed before I shrugged and thought, that's LA for you. I never thought I would ever hear of such a thing in Dubrovnik!

While crapping in the street is definitely not something I would expect to see here...men peeing on buildings is. There is a large garage near the old city where a lot of people park. Finding parking is extremely difficult over here so the garage is really easy and convenient. The problem is, as I'm walking up the stairs to get out of the garage, the foul odor of many a men who decided to make a pit stop invades my nostrils and makes me want to vomit. I find myself doing an Olympic style sprint up those stairs while holding my breath just so I don't have to smell that horrendous smell. The worst part is, there is a bathroom located at the entrance of the garage, except half the time it's locked. What's the point of having a public restroom if its closed most of the time? That makes no sense! Although, I'm not sure it would matter, men are gross and have no shame, and that's all men, not just Croatians. The amount of times that I've been walking around town and run into a guy taking a wiz on the wall is ridiculous. Sometimes I feel like I've seen more wieners then a prostitute.

I'm not saying that these are only the Croatian men doing this. Dubrovnik is a tourist town and I have no doubt that there are many foreign men who are peeing all around town too! And while men might never see a problem with that, from a woman's perspective, it's kind of gross guys.

All or Nothing kind of people...

I've come to realize that there really is no in between  with Croatians. With them it's either one extreme or the next. It's like this in a lot if aspects of their lives...

Now there is a difference between small talk and too much information. I like to make small talk with people, but I'm pretty aware of what not to talk about with people I just meet.  Croatians are a little different. The moment that they know someone you know, well then you are now in the circle of trust and can be let in on their lives.

The other day I was taking a cab home. I like to make sure I mention that I live here and have Croatian roots. I have heard of a lot of tourists getting overcharged from cab drivers so I make it a point to tell them I am no tourist. Through my small talk of telling the cab driver where my family is from, he knew someone from that area that I knew of. I probably met that person once or twice but that was enough. In the ten minute cab drive, I found out about where his family was from, who married who, and even some of the problems they were having. It's a little weird but at the same time I can't help but be entertained. If there is one thing Croatians love, it is to gossip. As long as we have mutual friend or acquaintance in common, then it's fair game and we can have a candid conversation.

It happens quite a bit.... I will always remember the Croatian guy that I sat next to who told me all about his problems with gout and high blood pressure. I also got to hear about how some of his family members don't speak to each other because of some argument. He knew some of my extended family so he decided he and I were family and I was allowed to hear this stuff about his life.

It's just another experience that has all been apart of my little adventure. Croatians are some of the most entertaining people you might meet, mostly because you just never know what is going to come out of their mouth next. 

And I will admit, I absolutely love hearing the gossip, even if I don't know who they are talking about. I guess I'm a true Croatian at heart!

I'm Not Too Old For This!

Last summer, before I moved to Croatia, one of my best friends came to LA to visit me. We spent the entire weekend going off to the beach and restaurants, night clubs and Disneyland, all the while screaming, "We're not too old for this!" Since we are in our late twenties, the idea of spending all day at the beach and then going dancing all night just to get up a few hours later to spend the day at Disneyland seemed hard core. When ever one of us wanted to just lay down and sleep we would scream, "We're not too old for this!" And then we would be on our way!

Fast forward a year later and I find myself wondering if I am, in fact, too old for this. The last summer I spent with my sister here in Croatia was in 2007. I was getting ready to graduate from University and I knew that that was going to be my last summer vacation in Croatia in a long time. I was 23 years old and wanted to have the summer of my life. My sister came with two of her best girlfriends and we proceeded to go out every night to the bars. For ten days straight, we went out to the bars and wouldn't come home until the wee hours of the morning. That's the record that we have and we are quite proud of that record, but now, there is no way I could ever do that again.

In my head, I'm screaming, "I'm not too old for this!" But my body is definitely saying something entirely different. Last Saturday, I decided to get all dressed up and go out. I had a tight red dress with extremely high heels on. My hair was done and I put makeup up on; I definitely made sure I looked my best. I mean, come on, I'm single and it's the summer! I also really wanted to go dancing because I hadn't been dancing in nearly a year. I was determined to have an amazing night!

As I walked into town with my tight dress and ridiculously high heels, I couldn't but laugh at myself. If you ever visit Old Town Dubrovnik, you will see that the main street is cobblestone, which doesn't make it the easiest place to walk in four inch heels. Imagine trying to walk in a sexy manner as I shake my hips as I walk, yet at the same time try to watch where I'm walking because at any moment I could totally eat it! As I was walking down the main street, pretending to be super sexy, all I really kept imagining was me tumbling to the ground and showing my who-ha to the world. I used to wear heels all the time in California but I'm in a different ball game over here. I have to worry about hills and cobblestones, and draw bridges....damn medieval town! I think what also got me was the fact that, the main street acts as a runway of sorts. People sit at the cafes on the side and watch as all the people walk past. Many a women do quite the catwalk while walking through the Stradun. I'm no different. I used to do it all the time when I was younger and I started to do my best catwalk walk when suddenly, I stopped and though, wait a second, I'm not 20 years old anymore. I'm 29! What the hell am I doing?! I'm too old for this shit! Which was proceeded by my next thought of, screw it, I've watched enough of America's Next Top Model, I can totally walk a run way.

When I met up with my friends we ended up going a bar with a dance floor and I really wanted to dance. Unfortunately, by that point, my feet had started to really hurt from walking around pretending like I was some hot ass model. We found a little table and I was able to sit down. As I looked around, I noticed that a lot of the girls looked really young and, I think, because I hadn't gone out in a long time, I was a little weirded out by it. I definitely had the thought of what the hell am I doing. Not that it stopped me from having a good time. I ended up meeting a really nice group of people that night and I absolutely danced the night away. By the time I got to the taxi to go home, it was 330am, I was barefoot, my makeup and hair were a mess and I was one happy girl. On the way home, I was very proud of myself. "I did it!" I thought. Definitely not too old for this. I got home, slept for a few hours then had to run out to my parents house to do some work.

Since my family from the states were in town, I wanted to spend time with them. So, the next day I spent the day with them, then headed over to get some work done and finally ended up at a football match. I spent the evening hanging out with my cousin and having a few beers. I was tired, but nothing I couldn't handle. I mean, this is summer after all! I got this! The next morning I had to wake up early. When I woke up, I noticed, that I wasn't feeling one hundred percent. No matter! I will take a nap and then I will feel better. Except that, I ended up going out to lunch with someone, followed by a day by the water with my family and then dinner after that. By the time the night was over, my entire body ached. I refused to let that get me down though as the following day was the opening of the festival for Dubrovnik and there was a huge party that I refused to miss! I woke up feeling like crap, so I took a bunch of medication and slept most of the day. When I got up I was feeling much better. I donned yet another tight dress with high heels that were just as high as the last ones. I met up with my family for dinner to celebrate an engagement and we had an amazing dinner where we watched fireworks and enjoyed the night. By midnight, we went into town, by that point my feet were killing me. I went over to a bar and immediately took those puppies off. "How do those young kids do it", I thought, "and why did I just say those young kids?" We walked around for a bit and went to a couple of bars, have the time I was walking barefoot until I absolutely had to put my heels back on.

I managed to stay out until about 2am, at which point, I could no longer stand in my own heels and said screw this, I'm going home. On the ride home all I thought about was how the hell did we manage to pull of going out ten nights in a row? I could never do that now. On top of that, the heels are killing me and I would much rather wear flats at this point, just so I'm comfortable. I mean, sure my legs and ass look amazing when I'm in heels, but I'm seriously rethinking my four inch heels...

Now, the question remains, am I too old for this? Well in the four days of all the activities, I wore myself out so much that this morning I woke up sounding like a 60 year asthmatic smoker from the Bronx. I have a ridiculous cough, sore throat, runny nose, and a sneeze that never ends. I've slept for most of the day and have done nothing but watch old episodes of Big Bang Theory. It's the middle of summer and I have a cold. WTF?!

I might be a little too old for this...

Not that that is going to stop me this summer...I mean, please, I have about five more sexy dresses that must be worn before the end of the summer and unfortunately, they can't be worn with flats.

The Joys of Shopping

I think we all take for granted things that we can get easily. I know that I have. I think, being in the United States, everything is pretty much at our disposal. We can find things at any super market that we walk into and wouldn't ever think twice. In Dubrovnik, it's very different. We don't have fast food that we can drive through and grab something quick. There is no Starbucks or Peet's coffee. I can't get a To Go cup of anything in this town. I also have to go to several different stores to find what I'm looking for.

Today, I went grocery shopping with a friend of mine. We had to go to two different stores because one didn't have everything that we needed. The store could be the same store chain and they will offer completely different things. It's annoying but after being here for nearly a year, I've grown so accustomed to it that it's just a natural thing for me to go to several different places to get what I need.

I find it interesting that I can't find Venus razors or anything like that for shaving my legs, but there are always razors for men. Sexist? I thought so at first, but I don't think that really is their intention. I think that the stores assume that men aren't going to run all over town to get razors so it's just placed in every store. In fact, it's at the front of the store next to cashier so that the men can just easily grab them on their way out. They are simple creatures that don't need a lot of fuss, I suppose. If I want to get razors, however, I have to go to a special store for that. That store is found in town and since I live in the country most of the year, I have to drive about 45 minutes just to go buy the razors I need. I also have to go that store for makeup, face scrubs, perfume, tampons with applicators (sorry to the men who read this), and body lotion that isn't Dove or Nivea.

When I first went into that store for my razors, I literally spent two hours wondering around looking at all the different things they had. I was in heaven! I looked at everything! I would grab things that I could find in the states that I thought I would never find here. I would giggle to myself and take a moment looking at the product as I thought back to the time I saw it in California. I'm pretty sure the people who worked there, thought I was insane. I was just so excited! I was like a kid in a candy store. You would have thought I had just discovered the wheel!

You should have seen my face when I discovered large sliced bread for sandwiches here. Picture Julie Andrews running up the hill in the Sound of Music and you will have an understanding of what I felt inside. It truly was a glorious day and I continue to get really excited when I see new things coming to Dubrovnik.

I'm waiting for the day I walk into a store and find Hershey kisses. That will complete my life.

A Rose Colored View

When I first moved here, I would go out with my cousin. I met all of her friends and many of the locals here. When I told them that I moved here they would give me a strange look and ask why. They couldn't believe that I would leave California for Dubrovnik. As if Dubrovnik is the biggest shit hole in the world. They really thought I was absolutely crazy for moving over here. The other day someone had told me that they wanted to move to the states to which I gave them a very strange look and asked why? And I realized that I now sounded like I was saying that the US is the biggest shit hole in the world and why would anyone want to ever move there. Obviously, that's not true, but it did get me thinking about why we as a people do that. Why do we always think that the grass is greener on the other side. The best analogy that I could come up with is that it's a lot like dating (it seems to be a theme in my life). Dating has several stages and I think that it's a perfect way to see how some of us think that other places are better than home. In my mind dating goes like this: Lust at first sight, first date, honeymoon, reality, bail or stay.

Lust: In dating, it's the I will do anything to have that person stage...Let's move this to my experience with living here. I started coming to Croatia every summer when I was in High school. I would stay in Dubrovnik for the summer and I would LOVE life. I would sit by the sea all day and go out at night. I thought, this place is amazing!! I would give anything just to wake up to this every day. I love it here! This place is the best! All of the people of Dubrovnik are sooooo lucky!

First Date: It's the getting to know you stage, we are always on our best behavior. Every summer, Dubrovnik glistened. It's was perfect in every way. The weather was perfect and water was warm and we could swim all day long. All I saw was happiness all around me. The aroma was intoxicating and I knew I was in love. This place would be mine one day and we will have a happy life together!

Honeymoon: It's the we are dating and we couldn't be happier phase. When I first moved here, I was in the euphoria of Dubrovnik. The city had my whole heart. The weather was so amazing when I arrived. I loved every moment of it and refused to see any downside to it. The city was perfect and I couldn't be happier.

Reality: The true colors stage. Winter. Holy shit, this place is DEAD in the winter. There is absolutely nothing to do. I started seeing the other side to the town. It's freaking cold here in the winter. No one leaves their house! And things don't get done very fast here, you have to fight for everything that you want. Internet is down? They might show up...in a week...after you called five times...You lied to me Dubrovnik! You were supposed to be warm and sunny all year round and glisten! You aren't glistening! Why aren't you glistening?!?!

Bail or stay: Now that you know who they really are, do you stay or leave? This is the phase where I either had to accept that this was the reality of this town and this country or leave.

I chose to stay because, at the end of the day, Dubrovnik still holds my heart. And while I now see the dark side to this place, it's not enough for me to let it go. We all wear rose colored glasses when we think of other places. Being raised among a large Croatian community, we are taught to be proud Croatians. I mean, I loved Croatia long before I ever stepped foot on Croatian soil. And I will admit that I had a very different idea about this place when I first moved here. And while reality has set in, I still love Croatia, for better or worse. Plus, these people are really entertaining to me.

I guess we just have to realize that sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but which ever path you choose it will definitely be fun!

Getting To Know The Locals...

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the difficulties of dating in Croatia. I commented on how men don't really approach me or talk to me. I decided to take matters into my own hands and just be my little outgoing self and meet people on my own. This is how it went...

I approached a local's bar with confidence as I was determined to meet new people. Originally, I was just going to sit outside and have a little coffee, but there was no where to sit. Everyone turned to look at me, wondering who I was. I walked into the bar and found about six or seven men inside hanging out. They all stopped at once and just stared at me. They didn't say a word, they just stared. I looked around, smiled, said hello and asked if I could sit down at the bar. Nobody said a word, they just kept staring. I looked at the guy who was sitting and asked if I could sit next to him. Dumbfounded, he just nodded. Ok, I thought, this might be a bit uncomfortable. The guy next to me just kept staring at me, unsure of what to say or do. If I could read his mind, I'm pretty sure the conversation in his head went something like this: This isn't how it's done here! Women don't just come in and sit down with men! There is a process! Women are with women and men are with men! We sit on opposite sides of the room and we don't make eye contact with each other. We talk amongst ourselves and we don't interact. What am I supposed to do?!?! This is DIFFERENT! Can't. Handle. This...

The guy who was working the bar still hadn't asked me what I wanted, so I turned to the guy sitting next to me:

Me: Hi!
Guy: Hello.
Me: How are you?
Guy: Good.
Me: The weather has been really nice today!
Guy: Yes.

Hmmm, a man of few words, I see. Finally, the guy at the bar asks if I would like something to drink. I asked if he would make me a coffee and he was happy to oblige. I turned my attention back to the guy who was sitting next to me and kept asking questions. He started warming up to me and he started having an actual conversation with me. As for the other men in the bar, they slowly backed away from me and ended up in the corner of the bar, at which point they started playing techno music. Perhaps their conversation went like this: What do we do with her? Do we talk to her? What could we say? Maybe we should play some music. Make sure it is really loud and then we can just awkwardly stand there and just smile. We won't have to try to talk to her because it will be too loud. Great plan!

Yes, that's when the music started blasting, but I persisted. I continued to talk to the guy next to me. Then the guy at the bar gave me a shot of Travarica (grapa). Ooooo! How nice! I slowly drank my Travarica and then began talking to the guy at the bar. By this time, the guys were starting to get used to me being there and in their territory. Another guy finally approached me and I started having a good conversation with him. He then proceeded to buy me two shots of Travarica and now I had to be careful because I had to drive and that stuff is strong! Finally, a couple of other girls walked in. How nice, I thought, now other girls can get into conversations with the guys and we will all have a lot of fun! NOPE! The girls proceeded to go over to the OTHER corner of the bar and sit alone. They just sat their with their drinks, smoking, and looking at everyone. The men didn't say anything to them and they didn't say anything to the men unless it was to order another drink.

I, on the other hand, was having loads of fun getting to know these locals. All the guys that I met were born and raised in Dubrovnik and we hard core Dalmatians! Most of them worked on the ship or at the bar that I was at. They were very nice and easy going. They definitely were planning on having a good night of drinking! Alas, I had to leave, as they kept trying to order me more drinks and keep me there for the night!  I had to drive and I knew that if I had any more Travarica, I would be dead drunk and wouldn't be driving anywhere. I said my goodbyes to my new friends and, of course, I was promptly invited back to visit them. I know where I can always find them!

I'm realizing if I want to get to know the people here, I need to not wait for them to come talk to me. I just need to go for it and jump right in. I found them to be delightful and quite welcoming (once they had a couple of drinks and got used to me being there, that is). It was a fun and interesting experience. I kind of want to just start walking into random local's bars and seeing who I can get to talk to me. I'm well on my way!

I have a feeling that this summer is going to be a lot of fun!

Only in Croatia...

The more time I spend in Croatia, the more I notice things. It didn't start that way. I was blissfully happy being quite oblivious but someone couldn't help themselves. He had to start pointing things out to me about Croatians and now I can't stop seeing things every where. I find it entertaining and fascinating since it's so different from what I see in the states. These are just a few things that I have noticed since moving here in what I call, "Only Croatians Can..." I will admit that most of these are directed towards the Croatian men as I have come to realize that we Croatian women are absolutely perfect. ;)

Only Croatian men can be on a motor bike together and not be gay. This is a viable means of transportation and bros look after each other around here.

Only Croatian men can wear a fanny pack or a man purse and still be quite manly. In fact, it's quite the fashion statement. (Come on aboard you American men!!)

Only Croatian men can sit on a bench together with their shirts lifted up over their moobs and their giant bellies showing and still think that they are the coolest men in town. Or maybe they think that they are just sexy beasts...

Only Croatian men can lift one leg up onto a stone and show the family jewels and not be arrested for lewd behavior. In fact, I have decided that this is a mating call of sorts. A bird showing off it's feathers, if you will.

Only Croatians can get in arguments with police officers and not be arrested. In fact they can be in the cop's face, screaming at the cop, and the cop will just not care.

Only Croatian children can get completely hammered after finishing the 8th grade and not be arrested. In fact, the cops look on approvingly, as they smoke their cigarettes and reminisce about their own time in school.

Only Croatians can go out at the age of fifteen to a disco and know that at 3 o'clock in the morning their mom will be their to pick them up and take them home.

Only Croatians can hold up a line while they chat with the cashier about their day or life and no one will get mad at them. They just don't care how long the line is or how long people might have been waiting.

Only Croatians can pass by you on a two lane highway and yell at you for going the speed limit.

Only Croatians can stop a speeding car by stepping in the middle of the road to cross the street. AND take their sweet ass time.

Only Croatians can stop their car in the middle of the road and have a lengthy conversation with the car on the other side. Oh yes, this happens A LOT.

Only Croatians can piss you off more than you will ever know. And when they do piss you off, they will have no idea what they did or said that made you so angry. (I hear this a lot: What? OR What did I do?)

Yes, only in Croatia will you experience things you never even thought about. It's funny, yet alarming, yet utterly entertaining all at the same time. This is simply: Croatia... 

Freshmen Fifteen in Croatia??

I have always been active. I've played sports my entire life and just have always tried to keep a healthy lifestyle. So I don't know for the life of me why I decided that all my working out and dieting goes out the window in Croatia! I think because it's mostly organic, I have decided that the food over here doesn't have any calories and that I could eat as much as I wanted. I have seriously been eating anything that tastes good. Lamb on a spit with potatoes cooked in a bottle of olive oil, pork in olive oil, veal in olive oil, salad with olive oil...get the picture? Olive oil is great for you but I think I might be consuming too much of it. On top of that, this culture is very accepting of drinking wine every day. That makes me very happy as I happen to love wine! So now, I'm not working out, I'm eating EVERYTHING, and I'm drinking to my heart's content. I haven't paid attention to any kind of health plan and haven't wanted to work out. Perhaps, I should have remembered that my body was used to a very strict diet and a work out regime for half marathons. I haven't been on a diet or worked out since I moved here.

The other day, I was walking up the stairs to a friend's place and I got so winded I felt like I was a 70 year old asthmatic smoker. It took me five minutes for my heart rate to go back to normal. Then, two days ago, I was going through my closet and found a dress that I have only worn once when I was probably at my most fit. I put it on and, while I could zip it up, I looked like a stuffed sausage. Not cool.

Needless to say, I have since cut back on my food and alcohol intake and have even started exercising again. I'm determined to look good in that dress again and maybe even wear it for my 30th birthday. Plus, let's face it it's swimsuit season and I'm vain and want to look my best.

Of course that's not stopping me from going out tonight for dinner with my girlfriends for some yummy Bosnian cuisine and wine. What can I say, I live in Croatia...
 

Read All About It: Date Ruined By Tourists!

Perhaps the title is a bit dramatic, but it's how I felt at the moment...

As the summer goes on, more and more of the locals tend to complain about the tourists. So far I haven't too many issues and have been handling them pretty well, UNTIL TODAY. Call me a princess if you want, but I don't like when people ruin my plans, especially a lunch date! That's right, a real life, honest to God date! Well, almost date. Half date? Damn you tourists!

The day started out like any other day. I went over to a friend's house to help her out with a couple of things. I was going to help her out, then run to town to greet some guests at my apartment. After that, I was just going to come home and relax. While I was at my friends house, a guy called me. I was rather excited to see his call as I had not heard from him in a while. He called to ask me to lunch! With a big smile on my face, I accepted! I told him that I have to get the guests into the apartment and should be done by 1:00. So we agreed to meet at one and told me that he would pick me and we could go to a nice little restaurant around town. Yay, I think, I'm finally get to go out with this guy! Awesome! Except as soon as I get off the phone with him I realize that I'm not wearing any makeup, my hair isn't done and I'm not really looking my best. I wasn't expecting to go out with anyone and now I'm questioning if this is a good idea. I mean, I want to look my best! Oh well, I think, forge on! This date is happening, regardless of how I look!

As I was going into town to greet my guests and meet up with him, the following conversation went through my head: Wow, I really look like shit. I'm not wearing any makeup. At least I have mascara on. Did I shave my legs? Nope!...just don't tell him that you didn't shave your legs. You will be fine...wait, did I shave my armpits? Armpit check...yup! At least I did that! How does my hair look? Holy shit, does my hair really look like that? Just keep it up in a bun. Is my shirt stretching out? Holy crap it's stretching out and now my bra is showing. Great, now I look slutty. God, it's hot today. Why am I sweating so much? Is it really THAT hot? I'm sweating like a whore in church! I hope I don't smell..That would just be awkward. Crap, I'm so hungry! I need to eat. I'm a real bitch when I'm hungry. Be cool, Marina, don't get all bitchy on him. I will just eat a snickers bar, that should hold me over until lunch. Just be sweet and don't cuss...try to be a lady for once and don't be weird! It's too early to be weird! That's second date material. Just be cool!

I get to town, buy myself a snickers and wait for my guests to arrive. Except that by one o'clock they still aren't at the apartment. Seriously? Of all the days that this has to happen! And here he comes in a Renault 4!! I start cracking up. Obviously, he reads my blog! A sense of humor! I like that! Because I have to wait for my guests to arrive, we go to a cafe. But now I'm starting to get really hungry. Just stay calm. Don't get bitchy. I can do this! We sit down and have coffee and start chatting. We have a great conversation. He is sweet and funny. I like. But holy crap, my stomach is growling! Where the hell are these people?! I want a ride in the Renault! We chat as I wait, but I keep getting calls and I feel bad because I'm not able to completely focus on him. I want these tourists to come so that we can go eat! I'm starving! Uh oh...Bitch alert! It's happening! I'm getting really grumpy because one, I'm freaking hungry and two these stupid guests are ruining my date and three, I am really sweating and now I'm all sticky! Whhhhyyyy?!?! I'm trying to be at my best, but the headache is setting in and it's hot and now I'm just really annoyed at these guests who, I have decided, devised a plan to ruin my life! He waits as long as he can, but he has to leave and do some work. I can't blame him. Neither one of us expected this. He leaves and I turn my rage to those guests. Damn you!!! You are all destroyer of lives! Yeah, I'm pretty dramatic when I'm hungry. They finally arrive three hours later... I get them into the apartment and I leave hungry and extremely grumpy.

Once I got home and put food in my stomach, I calmed down. At least, I got to have coffee with him and get to know him a bit. Hopefully, next time, I will be better company and be a little bit more dolled up. And while our lunch date didn't go exactly as planned, I still had a good time and really enjoyed our conversation. And bonus points for coming in a Renault 4!

Until the next adventure!

Watch What You Say!

I grew up around a bunch of smart ass, sarcastic people. We all make fun of each other and we don't take ourselves too seriously. We say things to each other that might be offensive to others, but to us, it's hilarious. That being said, I'm learning that I really have to be careful with what I say to people here. For one, some of what I say gets lost in translation and they might end up taking me a little too seriously.

A few weeks ago, I helped out a friend do a tour for a large group of American tourists. A week later he came by my house to pay me for my time. I walked out to his car which was parked on the corner next to our house. He proceeded to pull out a wad of cash and believe me, the irony wasn't lost on me. He smiled and said, "do you take dollars?" to which I replied, "Honey, I'll accept anything you give me." His eyes got really big and he started looking around, trying to see if anyone was around, listening to our conversation. He said that I couldn't say things like that. What do you mean? It was too good to pass up! I HAD to! Apparently, people here like to eavesdrop on conversations. So if anyone over heard me and actually understood what I was saying...well let's just say, I would be the talk of town, and probably not in a good way!

I'm trying to be more careful, but I can't help myself. Recently, I had a conversation about Renault 4s. They are hilarious looking cars that can't go more than 80km an hour. I made a joke that if someone picked me up in one of those cars, they would definitely be getting lucky. Great...Now, if a guy actually finds the courage to actually ask me out, he will probably pick me up in a Renault 4 with a wad of cash...



For those of you who don't know what a Renault 4 is:

Dating in Croatia...Easier Said Than Done!

First, let me start off by saying that these are simply my own opinions and what I have experienced. Take what I say with a grain of salt and know that more than anything I find my experiences to be mostly funny...

A few weeks ago I read an article about the top ten reasons to date a Croatian. I read it and laughed at it. First of all, the things written were a Croat at his/her best. It's true we like the finer things in life and are extremely passionate people. We are romantic and pretty darn attractive...I mean, really, there are some damn hot men walking the streets of Dubrovnik. However, I have a slightly different take on what it's like dating guys from Croatia. Spending most of my life in the States, naturally I have a certain way of thinking, especially when dating, but I have discovered that all that goes out the window in this land. Oh the joys of dating!


First: The passionate guy... He's the guy who sees you walking into the room, his mouth drops open and in that instant he will do anything to have you. Oh yes, I remember it well...It was a whirlwind romance...dinner, drinks, long talks on the pier. We talked of going away together and the future was bright. His passion for me was exhilarating. How could I not get caught up in that?! Finally, I have found an amazing guy who sees my worth and won't let me go!  But wait! He is letting me go! What's going on?? What's happppeeennniinnngg?! In the blink of an eye, the passion goes away, just as fast as it started. What happened?!...Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....you got bored...you found a new girl? You've decided that you love her now? Well I will leave you two alone then! ...So much for the happily ever after with that guy...On to the next!

Second: He's here then he's gone...oh wait you're back! Now you are gone.. I met this guy who was so cute and very kind. He and I had a great conversation. It seemed that he was in to me and I thought I was giving the vibe that I was into him to, but then he disappears. But then, a couple of days later, there he is adding me on Facebook! Oh yay! I wait patiently for the message...you know the message that is so adorable as he shyly asks me out. But nothing. Ok, maybe he's just REALLY shy...I will write him, really put it out there that I am interested. I write an adorable message, if I do say so myself. I'm reserved yet slightly flirty, how could anyone resist? But he doesn't respond. Ok then, must have scared him off. But wait! There he is, I run into him in town. He says that he saw my message but he has a hard time writing in English. Of course! What was I thinking?! We talk and flirt. I'm liking this guy more and more. Later that night, I get a message from him. He asks me out! YES! This is great, I think! We plan on going out later on in the week. We exchange numbers and he says he will call to confirm. I'm so excited! I get to go out with this great guy and get to know him. But then he never calls! UGH! Whhhyyyy?!?! Two weeks later, there he is again. He comes right up to me and apologizes. He's been so busy but he still really wants to take me out. Later that night, another message. He was happy to see me. I think well this time, we are going out for sure. NOPE! Disappeared again! I give up! Great guy...would love to go out and get to know him...but he kind of has to follow through. I'm not sure men here realize that when you make plans with a girl, you should really come through with those plans. Doesn't look good buddy! He's still cute though!

Third: I like you so I will just stare at you and then add you on Facebook later. Oh yes, I know this all too well. I went to an event with my dad a while back and I was one of the few girls there. I was pretty bored because no one was talking to me. They would just stand there and stare. These guys, are either to shy to come up and talk to me or creepy stalkers. Guys here are notorious for undressing you with their eyes. They have no shame. They will blatantly stare at you as you pass them. I then began getting a bunch of friend requests from all these guys. How the hell do they know my name? Small town, everyone knows the name of the Croatian/American girl who lives in Konavle. Of course, not that they sent me any messages through Facebook...I think they just wanted to continue to stare. Stop staring and come talk to me people! You are freaking me out!

These are just a few examples. Dating here is actually quite difficult. There are more women in Dubrovnik than there are men, so of course the men now think that they are God's gift. Then, of course, once the season starts and all those tourists come...you know the ones I'm talking about...the slutty girls who go on vacation with one goal: Sleep with a hot foreigner. Now, you have to deal with the men being faithful here, which from what I understand, is a rather big problem. Cheating is rampant here and it goes both ways. There are a lot of hot guys on holiday looking for a little Croatian romance too. How do you come to terms with that? Truth is, I don't care how many women a man has slept with. It could be two or could be a hundred, it doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is that once he is with me, that I can trust him when he says that I'm the only one. I want to know that when we get in a fight or things get tough in our relationship that he isn't going to go off, get drunk, and sleep with the first woman who throws herself at him.

Of course, I have also met some really decent men here too. I have had amazing conversations with them and have been treated like a princess. Good guys do exist here, but it's like going to a thrift store, you have to sift through a lot shit, to find the one decent thing on the rack.

And so my journey continues...

And so it begins...

Nine months ago I made the decision to move to Croatia. It was always something that I had wanted to do and finally made the move. Of course, it doesn't come without it's apprehension. I moved here at the age of 28 years old. I was scared that I was doing this at a rather old age since most people travel around in their early to mid twenties. I mean, really, what is a 28 year old single girl doing moving to a foreign country? While it helps that I have family in Croatia and have spent many summers here, it's still a big move for me. Throughout the past nine months I have had moments where I stopped and thought, "what the hell am I doing???? I had a really great life in California with lots to do and an amazing group of friends, why did I just give that all up?" Of course, once I calm myself down, I remember why...It was a choice that I had to make. If I didn't do this, I would have always regretted it. One of my favorite quotes is, "I would rather regret the things that I have done, than the things I have not."  That's how I have always wanted to live my life. It's the kind of person I am and will always be. Some don't understand it, but it doesn't matter. I am who I am and this is a path I needed to take...not in the Eat Pray Love way where I'm sitting here looking for inner peace. It's more of the, what kind of trouble can I get myself in to if I go down that path, kind of way. So far, it's been quite a ride and who knows what will happen next. Whatever it is, I know that it will just add to the story of my life. What can I say, I'm up for anything! I only have this one life, so I better make it worthwhile.